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Let Go of Fake Friends, Cherish Your Real Friends

My Own Experience on Resilience



This week, we have talked about building resilience, the impact of negative thinking, and learning some tools how to build resilience.


Friendship is something I undeniably nurture. But recently, something unexpected happened in my life that somehow tormented me for days. I found out that the “friends” that I have genuinely trusted spread some false rumors about me behind my back. I actually noticed how they treated me differently compared to the past, but I just neglected it because I want to give them the benefit of the doubt.


Emotions

I felt betrayed and disappointed but I definitely didn’t get mad at them. When I discovered what happened, my mind didn’t actually process it at first because I know to myself that I didn’t do anything that could possibly make them talk bad about me. I also recognized at that time the feeling of great confusion on what went wrong and doubting myself if I appeared fake to them or if my words or actions were not authentic to them.


Process of overcoming

In spite of that heart-breaking situation that occurred in my life when I didn’t expect it the least, I discovered more about myself and how strong I can rise up even if such hardship happened to me. After all, it’s something inevitable here in this life. The way I conquered those sad feelings was by opening up to my closest friends and my family. That experience made me realize that I should aim to deepen my relationships with the people who really care for me rather than holding on to toxic people. The Powerful Mind also mentioned that it is a good way to lose friends because you can work more on yourself. (The Powerful Mind, n.d.) Recognizing my purpose was the skill that I’d say helped me in that situation. One section on a book called Purpose Driven Life (Warren, 2002.p.g 30) stated that we should concentrate more on what’s important in our lives and pushing towards our goal as we live which gave me a strong sense to focus on my self-growth.


Growing & Developing

From the lessons, down to the speaker who gave some insights, I learned that most adversity in our lives is something we can control. One of the points from the lesson that I enjoyed, was the power of perspective, and how you look at problems when it comes. Additionally, Ms. Louise talked about being flexible when adversity comes, how to cope up with things. Lastly, a skill that I want to develop would be keeping calm, because even if I do the things I have mentioned above, I still tend to break down and my mind gets messy. To help with that, I will listen to calming music and count until 10 to help my strong emotions cool down. What I also intend to do more in the coming months for me to help track my feelings would be, having a blank calendar. Wherein I will color them every day based on the emotions that I felt solidly and each color corresponds to a feeling. Which then I’ll read and review every end of the week to see the variety of emotions I go through daily.


References

The Powerful Mind, n.d. 5 Reasons Why Losing Friends As You Get Older Is A Good Thing. [Online] Available at: http://powerfulmind.co/losing-friends/ [Accessed 3 March 2021].


Warren, R., 2002. Purpose Driven Life. s.l.:Zondervan.

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